R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
