I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
