your thong is hanging out like whoa
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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