I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
