i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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