nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
