Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
