Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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