So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
