So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
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