What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize