I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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