So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
