You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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