butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize