Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
