Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize