You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
