By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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