pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
