im gay
i know
yea but for you.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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