Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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