check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just want to make out with him forever
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
