We left an ass print on the piano.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
