you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize