if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
