we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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