Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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