I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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