Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
