Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
