This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize