Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
