would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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