You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
