Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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