U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
