I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
