idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize