I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
