Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Let the clothes fall where they may.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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