You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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