Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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