how can u be prego again
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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