I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
