dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
