K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
