it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
