I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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