No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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