Don't you send me to vm
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
