Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
