Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
