her vagine was all disorganized.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Randomize
