Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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