I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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