My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
