I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
