Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
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